Friday, October 16, 2009
It has been a long time since I have been blogging. Really missed blogging. The only reason why I have not been blogging is that I am really busy now that I am in school. Life has been so tiring. Inspiration for blogging doesn't pop up as frequent as they do before.
Of course, for those who know me, I've never blogged for the sake of blogging as I believe that it would dilute the content of my entries. I blog only when I am inspired by a certain incident or thought process.
I was on the bus back home from school today. As usual, I just got myself to stand at a corner and start observing the things and happenings around me. Slowly, the bus packed with people moved off from the interchange.
As I was standing there, my attention was diverted to a little boy sitting in front of me. He was sitting with his mum. What caught my interest was that he was perpetually placing his hand over the stop bell button right above him. I thought he was going to press the bell soon but he didn't. The bus just left the interchange so it didn't make any sense to press the bell then. But the boy continued to place his fingers over the bell button.
I thought to myself, "He must be just another one of those mischievous kids that likes to play with the bell." However, he was still holding on to the bell button after a very long time. The puzzling thing was that the boy seemed to be very serious about pressing the bell. His face didn't have any sign of mischief, only seriousness.
Just before the bus reached the first stop, he pressed the bell and I saw the sign of relief on his face. The bus stopped and together with his mum, he got off the bus.
It seems to me that I was wrong about him. This boy wasn't doing this out of mischief. Rather, he had such a strong sense of urgency in pressing the bell. It was like if he wasn't the one pressing the bell, it would have been a failed mission. He thought that by holding on to that single button, he would ensure that he will be the only one capable of pressing the bell and he will be the only one responsible for initiating the complete stop of the bus. A little boy stopping a big bus full of adults with only a pressing of a button. Sounds like a neat idea.
That probed me thinking, aren't we like that in our lives too? Sometimes, we hold on to some things so dearly that we put all our attention and focus into just that thing itself. We'd give everything just to get that one single moment of glory, that single moment of fame.
Some people slogged all their lives away, just to get that salutation of "Dr" in front of their names. For that single moment when they got their title, they immersed themselves in the limelight and glory that is seemingly eternal. When the applause fades away and reality sets in, they are not able to face the fact that life doesn't stop at just achieving a "Dr". With that "Dr" coming before their names, loads of responsibilities and expectations are piled upon their shoulders. This explains why we have so many useless doctors out there nowadays. Rarely have I seen a doctor that treats a patient out of compassion. It seems to me that the field of Medicine has been defiled by the meaningless chasing of pseudo-existing recognition that were build upon not by existing generations of doctors but through the hard work and dedication of the previous generation of physicians. Young doctors think that they ought to be respected simply because they have a "Dr" in their names. Little do they know that they are basking at the edge of the shadows of their predecessors.
This is not unique to professional occupation. In our personal lives too, we hold on to many of these seemingly important establishments. People think that money is everything. People think that materialistic wealth is everything. People think that recognition is everything. Little do they know that these things are so undependable.
Take money for example. Many people tell me that money makes the world go round. They mock me when I say this is not true. I only have this to tell them. They are not thinking. What makes that $1 in your hand worth its value? It is actually a systemic recognition by the consensus of people existing in the same system. Basically, beyond the systemic boundaries of this environment, your $1 is worthless. What makes you think that your $1 will always get you a can drink. If you put in that $1 into a faulty vending machine, that $1 just isn't going get you what you need. Even if you go to a provision shop, that $1 doesn't serve any purpose if the shopkeeper refuses to sell anything to you. Your $1 is basically at the mercy of the shopkeeper. Even if you owned a million dollars, you can never get your can drink if the shopkeeper or vending machine refuses to give in to you.
So what controls that $1 value? Two things are involved. The first is the circumstances you are in. This is likened to the vending machine analogy. The state of the vending machine is your circumstance. If the vending machine is not working, you'll never get your can drink. Or if you are in the desert, your $1 is absolutely worthless. Your 1 SING DOLLAR is worthless in Europe unless the money changer decides to exchange with you EURO DOLLAR for a good rate. Circumstances are things beyond our control.
The second thing that dictates the worth of your $1 is values. That is likened to that of the shopkeeper. Your $1 is worth the can drink if the shopkeeper is willing to sell it to you for that price. He has his own set of values. If he is professional, he knows that he should not sell a can drink for $2 but rather, a reasonable $1. Professionalism is the value at play here. Not forgetting the circumstances of the shopkeeper too! He is dictated by his own set of circumstances too, which is my previous point.
Knowing that the worth of money is actually dictated by circumstances and values, I hope you can start to see the fragility of money and materialism. All you rich people watch out. The only reason why you can sit your buttocks off on your wealth and feel secure is that the many people underneath the social pyramid are supporting you. They are dictated by circumstances and values of their own they enables your money to be of some worth. Just imagine this. You just need one rich dude to start feeling charitable and start helping those poor people under the social pyramid to set chaos to all the others' wealth. The poor people need not depend on the other rich dudes at all. Or if the majority of the poor people chose not to work for all you rich dum dums, your wealth will just go down the drain like toilet papers. I just need one big recession and all your wealth and money is just useless.
Can you all see how fragile money is? Can you all see how empty salutation and recognition is? They are fading and extremely passing! It is not logical for anyone to depend their lives on any of such things at all. They are not dependable at all! The only reason why they seem important is because everyone in the society thinks it is important! It is the same old demand and supply concept that we are ever so familiar with. If everyone thinks that money is useful, it will be useful because our systems will than be build upon that belief. However, if all of us just decide to leave this system and come up with another system, money will be worthless. The same concept goes with pride and recognition.
So what then do we hold dear in our lives? Are we like this little boy who thinks that by holding on to that little bell button, he will be able to command the bus to stop at his will? His whole idea and plan would be shattered simply by someone else who decides to press another button! Also, if the bus driver misses the stop because he was dreaming, the efforts put in by this little boy to hold on and press the bell would have been futile! His whole idea and thinking that he is the one in control of the situation would have been nullified, totally!
So what are you really depending on? Don't you think that your life is based so largely on a worthless ideology? Do you suddenly see that stupidity in you when you choose to lean upon something so fragile? Where is our hope then?
We all know where is our hope. We all know who is unchanging. We all know who is the truth. We all know the way. He is unchanging. He is always faithful. He is always there. He is always dependable. Why then do we choose something so fragile over Him who is ALMIGHTY and AWESOME? Why? What's the logic to you who like to talk to me about logic? Show me your logic!
And we humans like to think that we are logical, highly intelligent beings. I think we have just made a mockery of ourselves out of our own stupidity and arrogance.
Let go of that button, silly you.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
I bought a book last Sunday from church when a Taiwanese pastor came to preach. He published a book when loosely translated from Chinese, is something like "Truth without Logic". It is a compilations of verses from the 4 gospels and extracting key verses which Jesus spoke, accompanied with his commentaries.
I came across one of his commentaries where he referred to the book of Matthew. This was the verse he quoted.
"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again?......You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden."
Matthew 5:13-14
Pastor Liu the brought out a point which I found to be highly valid. He was commenting like how many Christians find it very difficult to "Be" the "Salt and Light" of the world. Many Christians try very hard to lead out a Christian life. They make sure that they go to Church every Sunday. They make deliberate efforts to do this and not to do that. They try very hard to put up a "Christ-like" front to the people around them. Yet, many a times, they find themselves failing, resulting in them feeling dejected and dry.
Why is it so hard to be the salt and light of this world? Why is it that Jesus impose upon us a task that seems so impossible?
The end result is back sliding and in some cases, total rejection of God.
So what's the problem here?
Pastor Liu very correctly pointed out that Jesus did not ask us to "Be" the "salt and light" of this world. Rather, He said, "You ARE" the "Salt and Light" of this world. Jesus was talking to His disciples then, telling them that they ARE the SALT and LIGHT of this world. A true disciple is one that truly follows the way and commands of Jesus.
Thus, when Jesus says "You ARE", it means it is something that comes very naturally. It should not be something so difficult to acheive because His ture disciples ARE already the SALT and LIGHT of this world. Rather than BE the salt and light, the true disciples ARE already the salt and light.
So, we shouldn't be trying to be the salt and light. It is not something that happens from outside in. Meaning our outward actions cannot change who we are really inside. Our consciencious efforts on the outside can never bring about change within us as the motivation isn't correct. Rather, it should happen from inside out. Christians need to change completely, starting from the inside. It is our inner self that controls our outward being. We need to start by humbling our hearts and seeking God's work within us.
Throw a carrot and a coffee bean into boiling water and they both have different effects. The carrot will simply soften and if you boil long enough, it'll simply disintegrate. The coffee bean on the other hand, will change the aroma and colour of the water into a nice blend of coffee.. Simply said, do you want to be a carrot, that lacks any substance within itself to affect its surroundings or would you want to be a coffee bean, which even under intense heat, is able to change and affect its surroundings with its substance effectively?
Many Christians make the mistake of focusing on outwardly change of their personal being. They act kindly in front of people only to find it unable to last because they lack the unconditional love that comes from within. They try to resist the temptation of materialism only to find that time and time again, excuses pop up to justify their materialistic needs. What we need to realize is that we have to get the sequence right. Complete change cannot come from the outside because our actions and deeds are unable to have any effect on our inner self. Rather, complete change must come from within, from our soul and our spirit. We must correct our corrupted belief system, which simply defines who we are. A person cannot defy his own definition. Only by repairing his own definition will he be able to redefine his own actions. Only then will his actions be genuinely justified by his belief system.
Bearing in mind all these, it makes more sense to see why Jesus says YOU ARE "THE SALT AND LIGHT" of this world rather than saying BE "THE SALT AND LIGHT" of this world. If we truly believe in Jesus and His salvation, truly repenting, humbling and submitting ourselves before Him as the LORD of our lives, only then can we be redefined as true disciples of Jesus Christ. With that, we no longer need to BE "THE SALT AND LIGHT" of the world. We will be called His true disciples and we ARE "THE SALT AND LIGHT" of this world.
All Glory to God Almighty. Amen.
Continuation from part 2.
Continuation from part 1.
I am so impressed and touched by these kids. I can help but feel so lucky to be where I am today. By God's grace He has made me who I am.
Compared to them, the problems that Singapore students face pales in comparison. Really, be grateful that we have such wonderful education in Singapore.
I'll work even harder now.
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
This song has reminded once again what He intends for me.
I want to shed this life of selfishness LORD. I want to stop living for myself. Greater things are to be done LORD. Use me not for my glory but yours alone. So many more out there needs You LORD! Use me LORD...
Grant me the strength, courage and wisdom to achieve what You have intended for me. Every step I've taken in my life is intended for that one single purposes. Let me not lose the heart for it.
Use me LORD...
Use me.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
I can't believed I actually flared up for the most stupid reason. It was so childish. The worst thing is, I flared up at the person who loved me the most. My mum.
I don't know why did I do it. It was just a build up of unpleasant emotions and unwanted distractions. Sometimes, I think I take my mum for granted. She loves and cares for me so much, yet how did I treat her. I just taught my sunday school class about honouring your father and mother and here we have a negative example.
I just felt so weak after flaring up. I hate flaring up. It is just a sign of weakness. Contrary to common belief, flaring up is not a sign of strength but rather the feeling of vulnerability. It is the desperate need to be defend one's weakness when one finally breaks out in anger.
I am so selfish. I always care about my own emotions and neglect the feelings of others. This is especially so to the people that are close to me. I really hate myself for doing it. Really hate it. These are the times where you really feel like punishing yourself and hopefully the pain of punishment will remove the intense guilt in you.
But I am just not going to do that.
I've fallen in to Satan's first trap. Not going to fall into the second one.
The hardest thing to do is to say "I'm sorry." There is not one time whereby I can say sorry without any resistance. Satan hates these words and he'll go all out to prevent us from saying them.
But I'll do just that.
Help me out here LORD.
Sunday, June 07, 2009
God provides.
He never leaves me alone, even when I feel differently.
He disciplines.
I feel comforted in His presence.
There is nothing for me to worry about.
He got it all handle, literally everything.
I've just got to listen and follow. That's it.
His patience towards me knows no limit.
His grace knows no depth.
His love touches me repeatedly.
How much can I give You LORD?
I know how much I can give, but my heart is not willing.
Fear overrides me.
Tell me when my time comes LORD.
Hold on to my hand and walk me down this road.
I cannot do without You.
Hold it tight and never let me go.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
This two days have been a rather stressful period for me. As many of you would have known, I am involved in some teaching.
Ever remember how your teachers make you do corrections over and over again when you weren't able to submit work worthy of her standards? It was a painful experience yeah? I've just realised, it wasn't easy on the teacher either.
I had to make one of my student do corrections today. It wasn't one or two questions. It was a lot of questions. She was too careless in her work, making very fundamental mistakes that would be costly if it had been an exam. It was a difficult decision, but I had to make her do the corrections anyway.
As she had many corrections, I allowed her to bring the corrections back to do. Just then, she cried. I asked her what happened and she told me she had a lot of homework from her language school too. She just sobbed so quietly. My heart just went into pieces. I felt for her. Seeing her cry made me feel sad too! I didn't want to cause her so much misery but it was my job! In the end, I extended the dateline for her corrections but explained to her that I was unable to remove her misery of doing the corrections as it was necessary for her to learn not to commit the same mistakes again. She nodded but went on sobbing anyway. I was hurt. But I had to do the right thing. It was for her own good.
On my way home, I reflected on how God must have felt when He has to make difficult decisions for us too. There must be times when He knows what is best for us, but it might not make us happy. God knows that some things has to be done, even if it is at the cost of our short term happiness, just so that we can come out of these trials and tribulations stronger. God must have been sad when we cried out to Him.
She was just my student and already, I felt so much pain for her. She wasn't even my daughter and yet I felt so bad for her when she sobbed in front of me. How much more miserable must it have been for God to see His one and only Son crucified in the hands of the people He love so dearly. It is something I can never understand but to only be grateful for.
How deep the Father's love for us......
Sunday, April 19, 2009
It's has been a long time since my last entry. There's just this sense of emptiness within me nowadays. Time and time again, I keep falling back to this state of emptiness. Nothing good happened, nothing bad either. It is just this mundane, routine me that's functioning as a body but not functioning emotionally.
I fear this feeling. I've never liked feeling empty. I've never liked feeling coldness. I don't like feeling indifferent about the things happening around me. I fear when I lose the ability to feel. At least when I am angry or frustrated, I have an emotion to reflect upon. With emptiness, I have nothing to reflect.
God's voice seems to be softer or even muted nowadays. My prayers are repetitive and I feel they lack substance. My prayers seemed superficial nowadays. I am praying because I am taught to pray. But do I really believe in what I pray?
But God is always good. He never fails. I thank God for the sermon today. Pastor Chua's sermon today touched me. It felt like the sermon was made for me. It felt like God was speaking just to me. Maybe I've lost the humility that once swelled within me. It was this humility that brought me to lower down before God and accept that He is the Lord of my life. Once that humility is gone, my prayers lose their power. My prayers loses it sincerity. God is nothing more than a waiter to me then because I am simply giving Him my orders from my desire's menu. I was speaking to God, but I wasn't communicating to Him.
I need to cultivate a prayerful heart. I need to start communicating with God and tell Him everything. I want God to know everything and how I feel. Things that I don't want to tell anyone but Him. I realised that without this prayerful heart, I end up getting impatient. I end up being less compassionate. I end up being cold and ignorant to things around me. Worse of all, I end up judging people.
To me, judging people is something I've never liked. I detest how easily corrupted one's judgement can get. I hate it when I judge someone. This subconcious judgement has been rampant within me nowadays. It is getting superficial. I was so frustrated with myself and I ask why is this happening to me. I wasn't like this before but things are changing. I keep asking myself why.
Thank God, I had my answer today. The reason was I keep asking myself why. I should have asked God. But God gave me the answer anyway. I've lost my humility. I am starting to become arrogant and proud. I am starting to trust my own abilities more than I trust God. This results in empty prayers which in turn creates a drift between me and God. The cycle goes on and on.
I am coming back to You LORD, again. I am amazed no matter how many times I disappoint You, Your grace is sufficient to bring me back. You don't pull me back, You draw me closer to You. I love You LORD. May those who read this be my witness that I've declared You to be the LORD of my life. All glory to You on high.
As for my readers, I've written this post for two purposes. One is for me. I need to write this down in order for me to remember this. I need you all to be a witness to my rededication to Him. By His grace and mercy, if I should stray once again, my Christian brothers and sisters, do me a facour by reminding me how much I need God to be in my life. Thank you!
The second purpose is to tell everyone out that something. You can never come to believe that God is the truth until you humble yourself down. If you cannot bring yourself to see how lowly you are or how insignificant your existence is, you'll never be able to believe in God. No matter how much gospel is being preached to you, how much miracles are performed before you, your calloused heart will be just like the Pharoh during Moses time. Never trust the praises of men, for they carry little substance and are quick to fleet. Each has his own agenda. However, God has only one agenda for us, that is to love and save us. Earn the praises of God, never of men. Such is the lesson I've learnt from this period of emptiness within me that has robbed much of my happiness and peace.
Till then, let me start filling up my life again. Let me not seek my own glory but only the One that sits high above the throne in heaven. All glory to God and His name on high! Amen.
Friday, March 13, 2009
When you press the "ON" button on your iPod, how much faith do you have in it that it will power up?
When you set the alarm clock before you go to sleep at night, how much faith do you have in it that it will wake you up the next morning?
When you press the buttons on your remote control, how much faith do you have in it that it will switch your tv channels instantly?
When you lie down beneath the fast turning ceiling fan, how much faith do you have in it that it will not fall on you?
When you flick the switch on the wall, how much faith do you have in it that it will light up the next moment?
I think the questions above may seem obsolete when you look at it on the surface. The fact is, many of us don't even think about these questions. Why? Because we don't feel the need to think about them. These things work most of the time, so much so that we have taken for granted their reliability. The fact is history shows that these things are trustworthy. The fact is they follow a consistent pattern of reliability that we don't even think about it. Take the ceiling fan as an example, I don't even recall ever hearing news of ceiling fan falling on someone sleeping underneath it.
So what does all these prove?
In my opinion, our human minds rely on a pattern of consistency, which very much shape our belief system. We believe in what repeats itself. We believe in things that consistently prove itself to be reliable.
So we trust Steve Jobs in delivering great Apple products each year and somehow, they are always bound to make a big whoo-ha in the electronics industries. Steve Jobs and Apple are the creators of Apple products and their track records make people trust their products. People just rush into buying their products, thinking it must be the best, on the basis that it always has been the best. That's humanity's belief system, believing in what always have been.
The sun rises every morning in the east and sets every evening in the west. The sea never dries up and has always been playing a paramount role in the hydrological cycle. The Nile has always been flowing and for thousands of years, provided for one of the greatest civilization on earth. Everyday, miracles are born, in all shape and sizes across the globe. The process of childbirth is so beautiful and intricate. Though complicated, it has never changed since the history of mankind. Such processes are so important and complicated. Yet, they never fail. It always have been like that and it follows a pattern repition. To me, it points to just one thing.
No prizes for guessing for those who have always been reading my blog.
Why? Because I myself write with a pattern, a repetitive one. So much so that people kind of know what I will be writing. It is always about the same thing. It is a manifestation of my belief system.
So what do I believe?
I believe in God.
He is the creator of all things under the heavens and the earth. Everything in the universe was formed under the breath of His words. There is no doubt about it, everything points to the need of a master creator. No way are these things ever going to happen by chance! Are you telling me that the presence of modern humans come into play simply by chance of a mutation of a single cell and it's offspring? Why not tell me that the fan on the ceiling doesn't fall on you tonight as you sleep simply because by chance, the conditions and surrounding just so happen to be stable enough to be support the fan? We all know that it doesn't happen this way. The fan doesn't drop on you because care have been taken into accout when assembling and installing it on your ceiling. Your interior designer has probably gotten his contractor to do a detailed calculation and measurment before installing the fast spinning fan.
So what does all these mean?
If we amplify the scenario, it all proves that God exist. The 9 planets(sorry should be 8. Pluto is no longer considered a planet. :P) spin in PRECISE orbits because there was a plan for it. 9 gigantic masses spinning around a ball of fire so huge, try telling me it all happened by chance. No there was a plan, just like there was a plan for the fan. Steve Jobs have a plan for Apple products. The contractor has a plan for the fan. God always had a plan for nature, He always have a plan for us.
The Bible states that we are made in the image of God. This is to say, there are certain traits within us that resembles God. I believe having a plan for creation is something God has bestowed upon us. God give us an ability to create, just like how He created the universe.
But are we doing Him a favour. You actually trust that tiny button on your iPod more than you trust God. You actually trust that plastic switch on your wall to switch on the lights more that you trust God. Worse still, history shows that all these things are necessarily reliable. iPods do fail and so do swtiches. But the sun never fails to rise on the east and it never fails to set on the west. Yet, we trust things that can fail more than we trust God.
Where's the logic?
Yes, people use the word "logic" when trying to disprove God to me. Somehow, I feel that that word has been used rather recklessly, so much so that it loses its meaning. Logic, do you really understand logic?
So who do you trust more? God or your iPod. Make a logical choice...
Friday, February 20, 2009
What do you see in this picture? Adapted from www.aad.gov.au/default.asp?casid=2880 Yes, you see a lot of penguins huddling together. This is what you can liken to a penguin 'ritual' every winter. It is their form of survival in the extreme cold conditions that they live in. By literally sandwhiching each other together, they allow their body heat to transfer among each other to prevent them from chilling to death. This is the only way they can survive the blizzard. Anyone who separates from the pack dies. It is not hard to tell that those standing in the middle of the pack will be the ones that gets the most heat and thus, the most comfortable. For those standing at the edge, they are the ones suffering the most. As we can see from the picture, thick coats of ice crystalize on their feathers. Not very bearable yeah? Can you imagine being coated with ice? This image captivated me so strongly that I decided to share. It just suddenly cross my mind and I believe I have the obligation to share it with all my Christian brothers and sisters. We can compare ourselves to penguins. Each and everyone of us as Christians are like penguins. We are surviving in the cold, harsh world. As Christians, we need to continually give each other spirtual support in the form of fellowship and encouragement. However, we should always remember the great commission that Jesus gave us, that is to go out and make disciples for his kingdom. Many times, I find many Christians, myself included, being too caught up within our own comfort zone. We are just like the penguins in the middle of the pack. We only like to associate with people around us, people we are farmiliar with. Some may even choose to associate with just Christian friends. That's where we find the most warmth as the farmiliar faces of brothers and sisters in Christ never fail to comfort us. But we can't always stay in the center of of the herd. We can't always be the one enjoying the most warmth. When the time comes, we need to pull ourselves out from our comfort zone and venture into the colder, harsh outskirts. It is those that are located in the outskirt that are of paramount importance to the survival of the herd. They are the ones that guide other penguins back into the herd. They are the ones that welcome the other penguins to join. They are the ones that gets the least warmth but doing the most important job. Without them to guide the returning penguins, the incoming penguin will not be able to bring the food back into the herd. Likewise, as Christians, sometimes we need to venture beyond our comfort zone. We need to go out and invite new people to join us within this circle of huddle. Only when the numbers increase will there be more people to share the warmth and love together, ensuring our continual survival. The world may be harsh, but if we congregate together, Christ's love will bundle us with joy and peace. It is not easy being at the frontline of the herd. Many people choose to remain in the centre of the herd. We can't just ensure our own survival. We need to have the goal of bigger picture in mind. We've got to move on to bigger things, greater responsibilities. We've got to step out of our comfort zone and venture into places where our help is needed the most. Once, you received the most warmth. Now it is the time to show the same love and kindness to people whom you've never known. May it be that God grant us the courage to be that penguin on the outskirt of the fellowship. May He grant us the strength (or the fats, haha) to keep us warm by stepping out for Him. May we have His will in our minds in place of our own selfish wills. May He be the rising sun across the horizon that gives us all hope. Thank You LORD. http://www.splashofcolour.net.au/Image/PenguinChick.JPG SO WHAT KIND OF PENGUIN ARE YOU?
Friday, February 13, 2009
Sometimes, it is simple worship songs like this that touch the innermost part of my heart. No fanciful melody, no bombastic words. Simple and sweet, straight forward, just like God's love to us. Praise You LORD...
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
The atheist asked me, "If your god is so good and almighty, if he loves us, why would he make people on earth suffer?"
Hmm... Tough question. What am I to answer him?
First, my atheist friend, isn't the whole world suffering? Whoever's god we are talking about, aren't we all still suffering? Hmm.. By your logic, I guess all other gods in the world don't love us too. None of the gods seems to care about us, don't you think so? Not a single one of them. Well, that's explain it. That's why you are an atheist.
My dear atheist friend, let me ask you this now. Your question just summarised the concept as shown below.
"If your god is so good and almighty, if he loves us, why would he make people on earth suffer?"
GOODNESS + POWER + LOVE = NO SUFFERING
When I was still a very young kid, my mum has always been there to take care of me. She is good to people around her. She is always genuinely concerned with people around her. That easily satisfy your criteria of being good. She has the power to discipline me too. She dictates my schedule. When I have my meals, what time I go to the school and when I play too much computer games, she has the power to discipline me. Seems like she satisfy the criteria of possessing certain amount of power too. Does my mum love me? Definitely! No doubt about that. She loves me to the bottom of her heart.
My mum satisfy the following:
GOODNESS + POWER + LOVE
But that didn't prevent me from suffering once or twice in my life. There were times when my mum asked me not to play in the rain. I chose not to listen to her. I ended up contracting a bad cold and that was suffering. There were times where she asked me not to over eat in buffet lunches. I did not listen to her and I end up having a very bad stomach ache and vomitting for the rest of the day. That definitely was a form of suffering.
GOODNESS + POWER + LOVE = NO SUFFERING????????
My friend, the problem lies with you. Yes you. Why do you expect to not suffer just because God is good? Why do expect God to deliver you from your suffering just because He has the power to do so? Why do you expect God to take away your suffering just because He loves you? WHO ARE YOU MY FRIEND? Who are you to demand all these from someone you've just described as good, almighty and loves you? Yes friend, you are the selfish one who expects things to happen. Your mind expects things to follow a pattern you so think should be the case. You think you understand what you said. You think a lot my friend, but you don't understand.
If you truly believe in what you've just said my atheist friend, then promise me one thing. When you have a kid next time, don't ever let him or her suffer. You know what will happen if your child suffer? It means, you are not good to your child. You are useless because you don't have the power to control your child so that he or she will not suffer. You definitely do not love your child at all because she suffered! You are a lousy father my friend.
My dear atheist friend, I don't think that is possible right? I am sure you will love your child and you would want to give the best for him or her. But to let your child not suffer?
Also my dear atheist friend. If you know that people around are suffering my friend, what have you done to help them? You ask God where is the solution to the suffering in the world. I see you my friend. I see your willing and kind heart as the answer to your own question. God empowered you and I with perfect health and wealth. How much have you contributed that to ending someone else's suffering. You may not be the solution to suffering, but are you even part of it?
My dear atheist friend, with so much being said, I hope you don't just think, understand what you are saying. I want to tell you my friend, even with you unjustifying so much about God, He has not forgotten you. He wants to justify you. You ask Him where is the solution to your suffering. I tell you the truth, the solution is Him. You thought you could catch God with His words by asking Him where he is when you see so much suffering. But He actually bothered about you my friend. He actually died just to give an answer to your solution. He didn't die to free you from your sufferings on earth. He died to free you from your sufferings for eternity. Do you believe that? All you have to do is just to believe that He has done it for you.
But would you believe what I just said? Would you believe me my friend? Or would you think that I am just some lost fellow following a blind faith? Whatever the case my friend, don't just think, understand.
God is always there for me and you. Were we always there for Him?
Friday, February 06, 2009
Today is an emotional day for me. It is my ORD. Today, I've officially regained my civilian status. Today, I've officially become an NSman. Today, I've put a full stop on one of the most important chapter in my life and a new one is beginning.
There are so many things going through my mind now. There are so many things I want to express. But there are just too many things for me to put them into words. My time in the army has been so rich, full of joy and pain. I don't think I'll ever get to experience so much things in just 2 years. They said national service changes a guy. Many people think it is nonsense. I don't agree. I've seen the change it has done to me. It has been amazing.
With so many things to say, I think it'll be easier if I could just theme this entry. I would say my NS experience is a time of many firsts. Let's begin with the sunny morning of 09th April 2007.
That morning, is a morning I can never forget. It was a morning of mixed emotions. For the first time in my life, I've never felt so confused. Much have been said and heard about the NS experience. I didn't know what to expect. Will it be enjoyable or will it be painful? Will I be able to pull through this 2 years. Many people told me not to worry because I don't have to worry. But still, worrying isn't much of a choice for me then. I couldn't stop worrying. My parents brought me to Pasir Ris Bus Interchange and over there were many sergeants politely ushering us to a bus that brought us to the SAF terminal. Little did I know that all these "polite" sergeants will soon be the first line that SAF has put in place in our lives to "tekan" us. I was soon brought to this place called "Botak Island". "Botak Island" was nice on first sight. It looked some what like a holiday chalet.
My parents and I were then having lunch at the cookhouse of "Botak Chalet". Sitting there seeing many other guys that are going into the same fate as me wasn't exactly helpful. All their faces were glum and sad. It was then that I bid my parents good bye. For the first time in my life, I will be seperated from my parents for more than 2 weeks. Knowing that it is on an island is not very helpful either. My parents left and for the first time in my life, I felt so alone. Alone with so many other people that were left alone too.
There were many other firsts in "Botak Island" too. But I can't share all the details. Soon, it was time to leave "Botak Island" into somewhere in the west. That somewhere is OCS. OCS is the climax of my training days in the army. It was a place where it pushes one to his limits. It is a place of self discovery for me. Again, due to the sensitivity of the content, I am unable to divulge the many firsts that I've experienced in OCS. But thank God for them. Because it was here that I've totally change the perception of myself. I was pushed beyond to what I can thought I couldn't achieve before I come into army. Before entering the army, anyone who can run a distance of more than 2.4 km was crazy to me. The 4.8km cross country run in high school was like THE CHALLENGE for me and I felt so good about completing it. When I came into OCS, they pushed me beyond what I thought was crazy. 5km, 8km, 10km. 10km endurance runs became like part of the training every week and soon, I became accustomed to it. Subsequently, in my days of officership, I went on to run the 21km half marathorn. Right now, I am training up for my first marathorn of my entire life. The Adidas Sundown Marathorn. Without all these training in OCS, I would never even dare to think about going for all these. But right now, I did beyond what I used to think was crazy.
OCS training also saw me going through many other firsts. I was thrown into a foreign jungle with a bunch of other guys and we were supposed to survive in it for 9 days. That was REAL jungle survival. Finding your way through the thick vegetation, drinking from river water, building your own shelter and also surviving 9 days with little food while carrying a very heavy load. When I say little I really mean VERY LITTLE food. Killing a cute bird by twisting its neck wasn't exactly very pleasant either. Its blood flowing out onto your hands. Never in my whole life then would I be expecting myself to be doing that kind of thing. Never! Seriously, that experience was once in a lifetime and nothing can describe it. That experience made boys like us cry when we exit the jungle! I didn't cry but I was so touched to see a bunch of army boys hugging and crying with each other the moment we stepped out of that hell like jungle. That experience made me so much more confident about myself. There is nothing I can't do. It is just a matter of whether my mind wanted to. Of course, God was with me. I really want to thank God that He gave me the strength to pull through the experience. I came out without a single injury. No exaggeration but people do die from that kind of training and it wasn't too long ago. I was worried of my safety but God was with me.
Then, there was the comissioning parade that saw me wearing such a nice military uniform for the first time. For the first time my parents came down to the parade square and put on my rank for me. It was a proud moment. You would feel like you are the coolest looking dude around wearing that uniform but then you realised there were hundred more others. And then there was the first time I attended a ball. It was my comissioning ball. Wearing the SAF No.2 uniform looks a bit funny at first but after a while, you'll actually find it quite nice. It was like a world of difference to the uniform I wore in the jungle a few months back then. That's the amazing thing about my stint in the army. It provided me with the most down to earth experience, to the splurging end of the experience spectrum. All within 2 years.
My stay in the army also humbled me a lot. You start to realise that you aren't actually as good as you think you are. People whom you never thought much of could actually surprise you big time. I started to get to know people I've never thought I would come into contact with. I get to know guys who had criminal backgrounds. I have to led men that some people think are beyond any control. But it was great to know them. You start to see the good in people. There is good in everyone of us. My men are my source of encouragement. Used to think it should be the other way around but reality proves us wrong sometimes.
There are really really much more things I would love to share but there are just too many of them! Today, as I stepped out of camp, I felt a sense of sadness. ORD is supposed to be a happy event for many people. But for me, it was an emotional one. There are many things that I don't want to leave behind. But everything have their place and time. What stays within the camps compound can't go out. But I know the memories will be with me forever. I'll not forget my days in the army. It's time for me to move on. I used to questioned God so badly why did He not let me get into Medicine and disrupt from army to pursue my dream of becoming a doctor. In retrospect, God seems to understands me the best. These 2 years have moulded me into someone I've never thought I would become. My mental strength is way stronger than what it was before. I start to see the bigger picture of things now. God has a better plan for me. I can see that it is way better than what I expected, which is why I am so looking forward to what is installed for me this year. I am so much more confident in Him that He will pull me through studies in Dentistry. Not quite something I would expect myself to be doing before but now, I really think it suits me better.
These 2 years will become the foundation for me for the next 4 years. God, you've put me here and I am going to run with you. I really want to thank You for the 2 years in army, because it made me a stronger and better person. You moulded me into someone You want me to be and not what I want to be. For all the past experience, may they be a testimony to Your love and grace for me. Thank You LORD.
The 2 years was great. Thank you SAF. :)
Sunday, February 01, 2009
Today is the LORD's Holy Communion Sunday. Normally, I would be sitting among the congregation, waiting for my turn to receive the grace of God's Holy Communion. However, it was different for me today. As I was serving in the worship team, I had the chance to be at the backstage, facing the congregation as they make their way up to partake in the Holy Communion.
As I was sitting there observing the crowd, a few people caught my attention. Among them were the elderlies. As they were old, it took them quite some effort to kneel down before the pulpit to receive their portion. Unknowingly, a beautiful thought came into my mind. I wondered to myself, "There can only be two reasons why these elderlies are still coming to church and willingly humble themselves in front of LORD our God. They could have been Christians for all their lives or majority of their lives. I give thanks to You God because it meant that your grace and mercy was sufficient to keep them going all these years, providing them with strength and refuge, so much so that they've continued to walk in Your light after so many years. Alternatively, they could be new believers, coming to know God only towards the later part of their lives. I gave thanks to God for them too. It is because God's grace and love is so powerful that they have decided to follow Jesus during their aging years. Having gone through so much in their lives, it is never easy to let God into our hardened hearts at such an age. Their lives were salvaged at the later part their lives. I give thanks to you God!"
I came to realise one thing, no matter which part of our lives God chose to intercept, it is never too late. It is in God's timing and will that all things will fall into place. I began questioning myself. Would I be able to see myself kneeling down there 40 years down the road, humbly partaking in God's Holy Communion? It is not going to be an easy journey to be a Christian, but the end result is more than what we all deserve. This experience also reminds me of how so many out there have yet to come to know our Lord Jesus. It is never too late. Any time is a good time to love God because God loves us all the time.
God, if it is by your will that I'll ever live to that ripe old age, I want not only myself to be kneeling down in front of that pulpit, partaking in your Holy Communion. Let my children and my wife, my family and friends be kneeling beside me, joining me in this remembrance of Your amazing grace. Let my footsteps be steadfast and never far away from You. If I ever do stray from You Lord, do not forget me. Pull me back to Your side. I never want to feel far away from You. I felt that distance before and it feels exceedingly lonely. Lord, I do not want to be far from You. Keep me within Your reach, within a word of prayer.
I want to be with You for eternity. Let it be at Your will Lord...
Sunday, January 11, 2009
你最近还好吗？ 心里有许多的亏欠，许多的遗憾。回想起当初如何伤害了你，实在对你一点也不公平。但现在看到你已经走出了悲伤，我也为你高兴。我也只能默默的在一旁为你加油打气。加油吧！
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Today, my mum has been doing some packing of the storeroom. While she was tidying through the pile of books in it, she found my diary. It is not just any diary but my primary school chinese diaries. I particularly like the pri 2 ones. Shall share some of my favourites. My mum and I laughed our heads off reading some of the entries.
This entry was me writing about working hard and studying diligiently. I liked the layout of the table. :P
This is one of my Christmas entry. I like the opening of the entry. Kind of cute. Haha :)
Saturday, December 20, 2008
I came across this video that was a movie trailer of a movie called "MOST". Sit back and relax to the video.
To my Christian brothers and sisters, this is something that reminds us how much God loves us.
To my non-Christians brothers and sisters, if you are touched by this video, know this, you are one of those people on the train.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
When we conduct a funeral for the deceased, who is the funeral meant for?
Common belief would be that the funeral is for the spirit of the deceased. In many funerals, we conduct rituals and ceremonies. Some of these are to pay respect to the deceased, others are to fulfill some spiritual beliefs. Such spiritual beliefs include praying or chanting for the deceased in hope that we can interject a divine being to safeguard the passage of the deceased's spirit to heaven. To many, a funeral is like the last hope of doing something for the deceased.
I choose not to believe that a funeral is for the benefit of the deceased. Rather, I feel that a funeral is catered more for the loved ones of the deceased. A funeral is where the families and friends of the deceased sit down together to mourn for the loss of the dead. It provides them the chance to release the intense emotions that has welled up in them due to the fact that the deceased is no more. It converts their grief into practical actions, which in turn gives them a sense of purpose towards the deceased. Honestly speaking, what can be done for the deceased is no longer useful to him. All that remains of what was him is his lifeless body which will soon decay in the passage of time.
The moment any of us breathe our last breathe, whatever happens in this present world will no longer be relevant to us anymore. That very last breathe marks the full stop at the last page of our book. It all ends there. Nothing can be done to correct or change our fate. With reference to the passage in Mark 12:18-25, it clearly states that upon our death, we belong to no one. Not our spouse, not our parents, nobody. No one on this earth will belong to us and we no longer belong to anyone.
" When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven."
Mark 12:25
My guess is we will no longer be tied down to any interpersonal relationship, something which we depend heavily on during our lifetime in this world. To put it bluntly, the friendships, the kinships, the courtships, the relationships, whatever that we've built so hard for, will all go down to nothing upon death.
Does it mean that all these relationships that we've been intricately building thus far are all useless? By no means! On the contrary, they are urgently important. Knowing that we have so little time for so many people, the quality of these time spent must be of paramount standard. This is what God allocated for us. It is our duty to make the best out of this time allocated. I mentioned earlier that upon death, we are alone. Indeed we are, if we choose to. If we choose to walk with God, we will never be alone. This is because Jesus Christ walked through the valley of death and came out victorious. He overcame the power of death. He was alone for a period of time but His trust in God made him come back alive. He is now with God. God is now with Him. He is never alone. God has handed over to Him His kingdom of power. Jesus made an obvious choice. He followed God, completely. God transcends all boundaries. Time has no right over Him. He is the only thing that will not disappear with us upon death, because death never held any power over Him. His relationship with us is the only relationship that we can trust to bring over upon our imminent death. It is a powerful relationship, a relationship that calls upon us to be the Children of God.
That brings me to the question. How then can we make use of this time allocated to us. Understand that human relationships will be nullified upon death and God's relationship with us will last eternally. If we really do care for the people around us, people whom we so painstakingly build up our relationship with, it is only fair for them to earn the status of the Child of God. My point is, for those who believed and followed Christ, there is not much time left for us to convince the people we care. For those who have yet to believe and follow Christ, there is not much time left for you to choose how you want to be judged by God during the end of time. Do you want to face God's wrath all by yourself, or do you want Jesus standing next to you, interceding and pleading for mercy for you in front of the Almighty God? God gave us a very straightforward choice. Jesus is the choice. Everyone who chooses Jesus, God's chosen Son, to be the LORD of his life, will be saved and forgiven. The contrary will be that for those who don't do so.
With so much being said, I just want to post one question. On the moment of your last breathe, who do you want to bring along with you across to the other side? There is only one you can bring along with you. Choose.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
This song touched my heart once again. It acts as a reminder to what I am lacking very much. God I need the discipline to do so. Help me.
On Friday night, as I was slouching in my living room's sofa watching Discovery Channel, I came across an advertisement. It was showing all the beautiful pictures of nature and the amazing state of the art technology. After around 1 minute, it ended with a phrase, " The world is awesome."
I stared at it for at least 5 seconds and almost immediately, a strange feeling welled up inside me. I felt uncomfortable. I didn't know what was it but something just doesn't feel right during that 5 seconds. I realised what went wrong. It was fundamentally wrong. Those pictures were a testimony to a great creator. The rain don't fall at its on accord. The flowers don't bloom just because it wants to. Electricity don't flow in any direction it desires. They all point to one thing, there is a master planner and creator. This is what dictionary.net says about the word awesome.
Awesome \Awe"some\, a.1. Causing awe; appalling; awful; as, an awesome sight. --Wright.
2. Expressive of awe or terror.
Awe \Awe\, v. t. [imp. & p. p. Awed (?); p. pr. & vb. n. Awing.]To strike with fear and reverence; to inspire with awe; to control by inspiring dread.
We actually called the world awesome? Awesome? We gave what God deserve to his creation instead of him. What kind of complacency is that! How would you feel if your son calls someone else "Daddy"? It would be heartbreaking. I believe God would feel the same.
Fear God, because He is able to create and destroy at His will. The only reason why nothing is happening to such boastful attitude is because God is merciful. His love for us know no limit. Don't take it for granted.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Happen to pop by this video. It started out to me as some secular christian song and video. But as I watched on, I feel a deeper sense of meaning to this video. Indeed, many people out there longs to be loved and they are searching for themselves. How many times my brothers and sisters, do we as Christians reach out to them? We complain that no one wants to be saved. But what happens when someone willing to listen to God's word pop by in your life? Do you choose to ignore them just because interacting with them pokes through you comfort zone? Think about it. Think again...
Saturday, November 22, 2008
The moment I met her, I knew she was the one.
I need to do her looks and sound justice. Now that I've got a bass guitar, especially such a good one, I've got to start working hard to bring my skills one notch higher. No, one notch is not high enough. Must go two or three. Haha, my skills now ain't very high to begin with. Got to start practising.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Let this song do the talking...
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
20 years. That's like almost 1/4 of my life, with the assumption that I live up to the average life span of a human male. Thank you worship team for the well wishes. Although last night's practice was tiring, it was definitely a fruitful one. Thank you my friends for all the well wishes that you all sent me, be it via sms, msn or facebook. It was a good feeling to receive so many well wishes from so many people all on the same day. Not forgetting those who used the tradition hand shake method. It was definitely great. Last but not least, my beloved parents and sister. They have always been on my side. Never failing to support me. 20 years and going. I love you all. Thank you God for these people in my life. 20 years on earth was made joyful with these people around me. LORD, may it be a constant reminder to me that many has yet to be saved and up to this point, a large portion of my life has already been up. The rest may be long and it may be short. Only You know how much more I have to go. May You let the rest of my life not be one that's wasted away but one that glorifys and proclaims Your name.
Looking back, time has really flew by me. 20 years. It is an age of transition. I am no longer a teenager, yet not legally an adult.
Today was a happy day for me. I've gathered so many well wishes from so many people. Makes me feel loved. Haha.
Thank you Ling Hui, Kendra, Ming Hui and Song Lee for the surprise birthday song last night. It was sweet. Wasn't expecting that from any of you all especially when you all are busy mugging away for your important exams.
S2 Branch and the 3 PAs. You guys rock! You all are the best bunch of colleagues and friends I can ever ask for! S2 sir! You're the best boss I ever had! You've never treated me like a surbordinate but a respected officer that is honoured enough to work hand in hand for you. Thank you sir!
Benjamin! My branch's new specialist! He is so nice! Gave me an oval board sticked with all my pictures! I am surprised how he got them but he is resourceful. Nice guy and hardworking!
This is what Benjamin made for me! Nice right? He is one sweet guy man. All these were hand made. On top of that, he brought me a book. "Mentoring Paradigms" by Edmund Chan.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Do you know what I feel like now?
I feel like a piece of rubber band, being pulled to the limit. The tension is there, waiting to be released. I am filled with potential energy, waiting for it to be converted into kinetic energy. I can't wait any longer, I want to be released! I want to be released so that I can fly out into the air and soar high up. I want to unleash that potential that has build up within me for so long. So long... It has been almost 2 years and it is all coming to an end soon. I can't wait! I wanna be free!
16 more weeks and counting...
Friday, October 10, 2008
Dear LORD,
I really want to thank you for putting me in such a position. It is a privileged position to be in. You put me in a position to make decisions. You see to it that my decisions changes their life. They may not notice it, but it is a joy to see their positive changes. May You continue to grant me the wisdom, to lead and serve them in every way that is pleasing in Your eyes. May You grant me the love to love them, even when things starts falling apart. Let me help them regain their confidence LORD. Let me take away the despise that has fallen upon them. Let me lift up their heads high up again. People may have given up on them, but give me the courage to challenge them, to challenge them to meet You in the eye LORD. I may not leave a legacy behind, but may I leave Your footprints in their lives LORD.
I thank you LORD Father. Lead me as you will...
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Went to Songlee's blog and feeling bored, I heeded his advice and attempted this personality quiz that he did too. This was what http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx said about me.
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
I must say it is rather accurate but it is still only 45% me. 5% due to inaccuracy and 50% short of my bad points. We all have bad points that are seldom highlighted in these test aren't they? Can't think of them right now but will share with you some day. For the time being, it was quite fun doing that personality test. Like what Songlee said, try it if you're bored. Haha.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
LORD, I am drifting away from you. Hold me LORD, no matter how much I struggle to drift away from you LORD, please don't let go. Hold tightly LORD, please don't let me go. I'm afraid to be away from you. Just give me some time to sort myself out LORD. Don't let go of me Father, don't let go...
Sunday, September 07, 2008
It was funny. I started telling my mum how mad I was at her when I was a kid. She stuffed me with all the crazy things for breakfast. The typical breakfast for me every morning was a chicken patty the size of my palm, an egg and a glass of milk. Sometimes, it can be coupled with wholemeal bread or some bakery. It was madness and I am surprised how my stomach survived through those ordeal. Lunch and dinner were worst. There were times where she fed me half a chicken for dinner! I was only pri 4 then... Each time I told her I couldn't take it any more she would just say, "Eat!". Then I'll go on whining. When I told her how I felt then, she laughed so badly.
She then told me how cute me and my sis were when we were young. Before she sent us to school in the afternoon, me and my sis would bug her to play our favourite audio cassette and listen to all the stories. She told me how my sis and I would plead her to let us finish the cassette before going to school even though we were running late. I laughed at myself. It should've been a funny scene back then.
Looking back at my childhood, I realised I'm a very blessed child. I was able to grow up in a very harmonious home with loving parents. Even though it wasn't the best that they've given me, it was definitely their best. In my heart, that was the best. My dad and mum was always there for me. They encouraged me when I didn't do well for my exams. They loved me all the more even when I hurt them the most. They forgave me readily when I made mistakes even though I didn't feel apologetic. They listened openly to my worries and gave me the most truthful advice.
Till today, my parents still love me like a kid. My mum still overfeeds me every weekend I go home for dinner. In their heart, I'll always be that little boy, their little boy. They are the people I know that will never turn back on me, no matter what the circumstances are.
Daddy and mummy, this is for you, "I LOVE YOU BOTH!!!" :)
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Don't you think life's like a maze?
I've imagine life's just like a maze. We are like players in this maze. When we were born, healthy and strong, it seems as though we are like new players being inserted via the entrance of this mind boggling maze. As we proceeded inside the maze, the longer we are in it, the more tired we get as we are without food and water to sustain our bodies. However, right smack in the centre of this gigantic maze lies a fountain of water. It flows endlessly with the water of life. Anyone who drinks from it will never thirst again and a living stream will flow within him or her. This fountain is lighted by a huge flame, one that can be seen from miles and miles away. It serves as a guiding light for whoever is within this gigantic maze. Thus, as players in this maze, we need to head towards this burning flame which brings us to this fountain of life.
Every decision we make in life, is like a decision we make within this huge maze. Is it a left turn or a right turn? Each turn spells a new experience around the corner. It could be meeting a new person playing within this maze too. It could be new oppurtunities. It could be new experiences. It could be adversities. It could be sadness waiting to pounce upon you. It could even be meeting the love of your life, one who would continue to walk the rest of the maze with you. He or she could bring you nearer to the fountain of life, or away from it.
In times where we make a wrong turn, are we going to continue going the wrong way, or are we brave enough to stop and move back, starting again from where we last recognised. When adversity pounced upon us, are we just gonna stand there and sob, or are we strong enough to fight it back and move on? Every corner is unknown. We do not know what's in place for us the next turn, the next bend. Only faith and courage ensures that we do not falter and have the heart to press on, knowing that the final goal is the gift of life.
Some people are able to find their way through this messy confusion. In the end, they were accorded worthy of being able to drink from this fountain of life. But many others, lose their determination and focus. They start to wander away from the fountain of life. The burning flame gets furthur and furthur. The many wrong decisions they make in their life, the wasting lifestyle they live. Drinking, lusting, becoming a slave to money and pride. They live a life of debauchery and laziness. In the end, they just die of thirst within this maze, shrivelling and rotting at some unknow dead end.
Some of us might be badly injured while playing in this maze. Our frail hearts were unable to withstand such hardship. Just then, someone comes right next to you. He picks you up and tend to your injuries. He carries you on His back and slowly but surely, brings you into the fountain of life. When you reach the fountain of life, you started drinking from it and your injuries were fully healed. You were overjoyed and you remembered the person who carried you. You wanted to thank Him but He was nowhere to be seen. Just then, you remembered somewhere out there, there was a verse you read before...
..."Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."
John 4:13-14
Indeed, you were not thirsty again. Fully regenerated, you found the joy of this fountain of life and wanted to bring others to this fountain. It is too good to be missed! With a joyful heart, you head back into the maze, hoping to meet someone in there and bring him or her to the fountain of life. There will be many you'll meet. Some will hate you. They'll hate you because they do not trust you to bring them to the fountain of life. Some will hate you because you found the fountain of life and out of their own pride, refuses your help. However, there are a few that will trust you, because you were true and sincere in your words and in your deeds. Just like how He carried you, you carried the person to the fountain of life. But be careful not to make the wrong turn, or you would carry the person away from the fountain of life and he or she will start losing his or her trust in you. Every decision you decide, every turn you turn, it matters...
Sometimes, you stop and inhaled in deeply. You wandered to yourself, "What is that foul smell?" It was a pungent smell. The smell of death, the smell of rotting corpse. Then, you'll realised, how many of them didn't make it to the fountain of life. You push on, because you know that every second you waste not helping someone, somebody would just collapse in one corner of the maze and they're left there to die.
With so much being said, what kind of player are you?
Saturday, August 02, 2008
Never hide your mistakes, because they aren't meant to be hidden. What do you learn from hiding your mistakes? You learn only how to conceal them furthur. You learn only how to push the blame to others.
On the contrary, shed some light onto your own mistakes. Let the world see it. Most importantly, let you yourself see it. Talk about it. Think about it. Reason about it. Understand the lessons learnt and face the music. We move on, feeling better, feeling enriched.
The bravest man is not one who is able to overcome the treacherous mountains and gain glory for himself. The bravest man is not one who is fearless in front of his enemies. The bravest man is not one who is able to topple the fiercest beast on earth. The bravest man, is one who is able to overcome his own mistakes, conquering the person within.
There is no fanciful ideology in this. It is a simple concept. Many a times, it is just a matter of whether we are brave enough to admit it.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Stayed at home today. It was a good rest from this long week. I just like it when I spend my saturday lazing around at home. Took some time to catch a movie with my parents in their room. The movie is called "Away From Her". It was a really good show and it touched me deeply.
This show revolves around a very simple yet realistic plot. It is about an old couple that have been married for 50 years. Their relationship have always been very loving and they were just like the model couple for all to follow. However, the wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease and she started losing memories. She started to lose memories of her husband. Slowly, they transited from lovers to strangers. It was a painful process filled with endless emotions that can never be described. 50 years of romantic love just faded away, yet at the same time, it surfaced a different kind of love from the husband towards his wife. I was touched.
It made me realise what I wanted in my future relationship. Really, love isn't just about now. It is about tomorrow, about steadfast loyalty. I feel for the husband when I saw how his wife that he loved so much slowly just forgot about who he is. Are we able to love our other half when they love us no more? It is a challenge, a test of faithfulness and the foundation of the love. I guess love isn't just about romance that is so overly depicted in movies nowadays. It is about stamina, the stamina of one's relationship, how long it can last life's journey.
Relationship is serious and not something to be flippant about. It is a serious committment from both parties, to be there for each other, in health or in wealth, for better or for worse. I guess God will prepare that special someone that will walk with me through life's tough journey, and I will walk with her too, till the end of our time......Till then, we'll meet someday.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
On Tuesday, I did the usual at 12pm whereby I ate lunch at my camp's cookhouse.
It was a delicious and satisfying meal, though I couldn't remember what I ate for that particular lunch. I then proceeded to empty my tray and plate in the washing area. As I was making my way to the wash basin, I saw a bird on a table, eating the remnants of food that was left on it.
A bird? What so special about it? As I was moving closer to it, it started to panicked. By nature, any bird should fly away but this bird didn't, or should I say it couldn't do so fast enough. To my horror, I saw the feet of the bird. It has no claws at all! It was just two little stumps jutting out of its body. It looked to me more like sticks than feet. The bird was all alone and it was staring at me with fear. After a while, it manages to slide off the table and flew away.
I was astound for a moment. I was thinking, what kind of bird was that! It looked weird and out of the norm. I then looked around me and I saw many other birds congregating, but the poor little bird 'stood' there all alone, isolated at one little corner. Why was the bird all alone? Was it because of its feet or the absence of them?
It hit me hard as I saw that sight. Somehow, I related it back to what I see around me every day. It seems to me that this world has a way of treating things that are different. We see how humans treat humans with physical disabilities. Whenever we see a person with cleft lips or distorted facial features, what comes into our minds? Sadly, for many of us, the first thought is always, " Eww, what a weirdo." We find it uncomfortable and we tend to avoid association with these people. How often do we offer our help to the blind when they are boarding a train? It seems to me more often than not, help was called for before it can be offered. Seldom do we see it the other way round. Is it always part of our natural instinct that we tend to shun away from people that are different, that are less fortunate as compared to us? What really is the real reason when we help these people? Is it to show to others how helpful and caring we are? Were the acts of kindness really genuine concern towards the unfortunate or were they just a show to glorify oneself? Are we like those birds that congregate around each other?
I find myself guilty of these at times too. On many occasions, I just shun away from a beggar with obviously 2 legs gone. Somehow, as the years go by, this heart of mine have grown cold. "Let him be!" says my heart for the love once present no longer lives within me.
His disciple asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"
"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life."
John 9:2-3
LORD, I come before you with shame, for many times in my life I've stripped myself off the love that you clothed upon me. The mercy and grace you laid upon me was forgotten, resulting in my ignorance and arrogance towards the unfortunate. May you once again light up the passion within me, so that I may be filled with the great power of your love. Let me be the work of God, the work of God that will be displayed in their lives...
Forgive us LORD for our selfishness......