Last night, I was lying on my bed reading my Newsweek magazine. It was around 11pm and all was calm and serene. I was very much enjoying the solitude. Seldom do I get some time for myself.
Suddenly, I heard a very loud screeching of car tyres. At that split second, the first thought in my mind was, " Oh please don't let this be an accident!". The moment the thought flashed past, I heard a very loud bang. What the...
I rushed to my window and there, in front of me at the road was a taxi that was obviously banged. But that didn't catch my attention. What caught my attention was a crowd that was forming in the bushes opposite the road. I saw no mangled car in the bushes. I thought to myself, "Oh crap, that is a very long distance from the crashed taxi to the bushes. I see no mangled car and it could only mean one thing, in the bushes was either a person or a person with a motorbike." That is hell lot of a crash. The distance was about 50m away! I was literally stunned. I stood there aghast.
The next moment I found myself praying to God that let no lives be lost. Apparently it was a very serious accident and soon, ambulance, fire engines and police cars came. At that moment, I just stood there and watched the drama unfold. I couldn't see what was happening in the bushes but my imagination just ran wild. Never in my life have I came across an accident of such magnitude.
What if the person was me? What if it was my family or any of my loved ones? What if it was my friend? Life is so unpredictable. One moment ago I was lying on my snuggy bed and the next moment, I am caught so aback. I know not the person involved but the very pain of his or her parents, wife or husband, children... I felt it. It was uncomfortable. I started to fear. I feared because I realised how much in my life is left undone and any day any moment, death would just come looking for me. I realised how weak I am. I realised how many people I can't bear to leave...
I fully understood the meaning of a life changing moment. It was a life changing moment for many I believed. It was an experience that pierced right into me, reminding me of the many things I have yet to do. Time is not on our side, we've got to treasure what we have because any moment, every thing will change.
This incident allowed me to prod even deeper. I asked myself once again what in the world am I here for. Indeed, many are still out there not knowing who my Father is. Indeed, much is left undone. I am once again reminded about the goal in my life, something I have fail to visit nowadays when I am in army. There is no time to lose, I've got to keep on going...
Really, life is just a mockery. Things happen as when they happen. The randomness is what causes so much pain and misery. Yet, it is this very unpredictable pattern in life that makes this life of ours so interesting. Such a mockery, such an irony...
I walked and I walked, not knowing when it would end. The pain was just numbing. It became part of me throughout the whole course of marching...
I kept asking myself when would all these end. The pace was fast but my the journey never seemed to end. I came to a point whereby I don't know what I was doing. I let my body mechanism take the lead. I just shuffled my feet blindly, all the way.
The thing about marches is that they are always a test of our mettle. It is also a test of friendship. The kind of bond in us was immense. I could see the fighting spirit in us all. There were times where people would feel like falling out but the platoon mates just kept pushing them on. Some of us help lift up their field packs. Some of us held out our hands to pull the guy forward so that he don't fall back behind the platoon.
My instructor told us, " When we march, we march off as one, we march back as one. It is not a race. Remember this, you are only as strong as the weakest person in the platoon and you are only as fast as the slowest person in the platoon. Route marches is not about completing it. It is about completing it TOGETHER..."
Seldom would anyone associate a bunch of smelly guys in green together as a touching scene. But I was touched. I was touched by how we are all so strong, an unseen strength welling from within. I was touched by how we cheered one another on. So what if we are all smelly and dirty and wet and what say you, I will remember these scenes as one of the memorable ones in my life. 40 guys all marching for each other. 40 guys living for each other. 40 guys training for each other. 40 guys singing for each other. 40 guys fighting for each other...
My service term is coming to an end. A chapter is closing and a new one is unfolding. I know not what professional term can bring, but I know I have my buddies to go on. At times we may become too tired and turn selfish, but we shoud forgive each other because inside that horrible place, we only have ourselves to depend on. Hop on guys, professional term here we come!
Recently, I attended the funeral of Cpt Ho Si Qiu, a PC in OCS who collapsed after reaching the end point of the AHM.
It was indeed an unexpected experience. Amidst our busy schedule, suddenly an incident as such pops up, it left many of us lost for words. It left me thinking, what if I die tomorrow, or even the very next moment...
What kind of message do I want to send across my death? Would I want people mourning for me and grieving my disappearance? After much thought about it, I came up with a conclusion.
I wouldn't want my funeral to be a mournful one. I want it to be an occasion whereby people will come face to face with reality. The reality is that we hold no power with our lifetime. With a snap of a finger and we can vanish from the surface of this world. I want people to find peace in death, because death in itself is a relief from this troublesome world. It is for the better that death has overtaken me, for I know that I have a better world out there than this one...
I will always strive to gain entry to this beautiful paradise. Our Lord Jesus overcome the power of death, putting our faith in Him allows us to find peace in death. Mourning is for the people without hope. They conclude that it all ends here. I don't want that to happen in my funeral. If I die the next moment, take comfort that I kept the faith and did my best for LORD.
Also, I would want my funeral to become a platform for the Word of God to be shared to all present. I want them to hear the love of God, how much he sacrificed for us. I want them to hear how much God has done for my life and made me who I am. I don't need a long testimonial of what kind of person I was or how much I have achieved in my lifetime. Because my life is so insignificant. My life is nothing compared to what God can give to us. Empty handed I came into this world and empty handed I would go. What I've done in the past would be meaningless to the present. My funeral could be put into better use other than mourning for something or somebody that would never come back as a being on this earth again.
I envision my funeral to be one that is filled with worship and joy. Let the world see how God's loving grace is able to take away our pain and grieve even in times of darkness. I would definitely want the pastor to do a gospel sharing. I would definitely hope that someone out there in my funeral will be touched by God's word and come to believe in Him.
Whatever the case, there is still much left undone for me. I have no time to lose, because any moment I would be gone. But let no time be spent on wondering when that will happen, because if you let the fear of death overtake you, nothing will be left completed. Once again, I submit my life to the Almighty, in Him I find peace.
So, you'll know what to do if I die tomorrow...... :)