I had a beautiful vision today. It was a blissful...
I saw myself standing face to face with God in a garden. He was standing in His long and beautiful white robe. I was wearing a tattered and torn piece of shirt. Somehow, I was shrunk into the size of a toddler. I was dirty and soiled. God was in His clean white robe.
In that vision, God was extending His hands towards me. He was calling out, "Come here Young, come here!" It was the most comforting and peaceful voice I've ever heard. However, like a little toddler throwing his tantrums, I shouted back at God, "I don't want to!" Immediately, I saw God's loving face transformed into a deeply hurt expression.
"Why not?" He asked me.
"I am just not worthy enough for You Abba. I've failed You so many times. How could I ever come near to You? Don't worry about me. I'll take care of myself. Once I've purified myself, then will I come back to You. Right now, I've just done so much shameful things that is not worthy of Your love." I answered Him.
He took a step towards me and reached out His hand. "Come to me." He said.
"No! I will not!" I exclaimed. I then turned my back against Him and started running away. I ran for not more than 20 metres and I suddenly fell down. The ground was full of sand and gravel, cutting through my skin. I cried. Blood was all over my legs and body. Tears were rolling down my eyes. The pain was imeasurable.
Just then, God took a few steps forward. Without a word, He reached out His hands and carried me up. He cradled me into His warm arms. He wrapped me in His white robe, wiping off the blood and tears on me.
"Silly boy. You're helpless without me my son. Please don't leave me again. I love you." God whispered into my ears.
With that, the vision ended and it faded away. I opened my eyes, feeling peaceful and calm. I prayed. I asked myself again and again, how can it be true? God's love is so amazing. It is never failing. It was not the first time I've fall out from Him. It was not the first time I've failed my conviction. So many words I've said but none made any sense. Time and time again I am comforted by His deep love for me.
Then I realised, the Devil has been playing tricks with me. I was stupid enough to fall into his temptation. He pounced upon my weakness and made me feel guilty. He wanted to draw me away from God. The truth is, the more I leave God, the weaker I become. It was a vicious cycle, a never ending one. How cunning you are the Devil. You've proven yourself to be a sly and manipulative creature. God loves us no matter what the circumstances. Take that you scum of all creation!
Dear LORD,
Thank you for making me share this with the many out there. It is a blessing. I am coming back to You LORD. Strengthen others like how You've strengthen me. You are our Abba Father.
Amen...
