What does it take to be a true friend?
It doesn't matter if you are able to share his joys with him or have fun with him. When times are happy, it is easy to stay close to a friend and be around him. Where there is fun and happiness there are always friends around.
But among these people that surround you, how many can be labelled as your true friends? Deep down in their words you know that they would not lie to you. They do not call you 'brother' and force you into doing something you don't wish to do. When you feel tired and wants to stop for a rest, they would not push you any furthur. They would not force you into feeling bad about not joining them for certain things. They understand you. They do not need you to put words explicitly in order for them to understand how you feel. They truly understand you, just by listening to your tone and observing you.
They'll be there for you in times of toughness. When all else seem hopeless they give you a sense of hope. When times are dark they become the light. They will not give up on you even when you give up on yourself. These are people whom we call true friends.
Look around you, are they true friends? Look at yourself, are you a true friend? I don't know, I certainly do not live up to such a standard. At times, I really feel like I am tired of seeing people around me and I just want to be alone for a while. Too much lies have been told to me and too much disappointment I've seen. Sometimes it just seems like my friends may not be that true as what I perceive them to be. But then again, such expectations are just so not a true friend. True friends accept others for what they are.
A confusing feeling I guess. Days like these and emotions as such are so common for me nowadays. I never felt so disillusioned about such things before. Where was that optimism of mine just a few years back. Have things changed so much or have I changed. Is it me or is it them?
I guess I ain't looking for an answer. I just need some peace and quiet time from all these tangling emotions of human. Just how messed up and fragile we humans are. Always thinking about ourselves and not others. This is how screwed up we are. The older we get, the more selfish we get. Horrible. I ain't wanting to join in this quest of self seeking ego. I need to be different from how these people behave. No matter how hard it is, I will stick to my true self.
Sometimes, I just think that God put some confusions in my life in order for me to find out more about myself. It's just so complicated......