I've just been thinking recently, what I've been through in my life so far. When I sit down to reflect upon the many events in my life, I realised I have much to thank for.
Really, life has been very smooth for me so far. There is really nothing for me to complain about. I've got nice clothes and good food all my life. I've got a lovely family and a bunch of incredible friends. I've had a wonderful education that many would dream of. I've got a wonderful NS experience so far and life as an officer has been very fulfilling. Many people want to go into OCS but they couldn't because of medical reasons, which brings me to the next point, my health has always been good. I've never had any major illness or injuries.
Sometimes I ask myself who am I to deserve all these. God has given me so much and treated me with such love and care. Most importantly, God gave His only son for me. But what have I given LORD? I gave him sadness and disappointment. I realised that many a times, the low points in my life are all results of my disobedience and misjudgements. I make the wrong choices and I make the wrong judgements. Sometimes, I even blame God. But God reamained patient towards me. Who am I to receive such attention from the Holy God Almighty? Really, who am I?
Some of you reading this may find it mundane and find it boring. You may even find it stupid. Why is Lim Young writing these things over and over again? God here God there, what is he trying to prove? He must be writing all these just because he has nothing interesting to write. All I have to say is that this posting comes from the bottom of my heart. I really appreciate what God has given me, how he TREMENDOUSLY changed my life. Without God, my life would be in ruins. I really cannot picture how I can live a proper, dignified life without Him. As long as there is one oppurtunity and one breath in me, I want to proclaim LORD's greatness and kindness.
It is time for me to consider seriously what I can give to the LORD. It is time I consider what I want to do in my life. The picture is clear. There are so many people out there that lives a life unimaginable to many of us here. They live in fear and hunger, dirt and thirst. It would be selfish of me to just sit here and continue to think of ways to lead a better life for myself. It is time for me to strive for a greater purpose.
My goal is clear and my purpose is forged. I WANT TO LIVE FOR YOU LORD...... Help me oh LORD.
I hate that feeling. It's been some time since I last felt it. I feel alone. When I say alone, I do not mean physical lonliness, I mean spiritual lonliness.
I hate it. I just hate it when I feel like God is nowhere in my life. The feeling is horrible. I do not enjoy His company any more. Not because I hate Him or what but He is just not there! I can't seem to find Him. I seem to depend less on Him nowadays. Sometimes I wonder, why is God not there anymore. Why isn't He talking to me. Even when I try to talk to Him, His whispers are just too soft for me to make any sense out of it.
Sometimes I just ask myself if my actions are glorifying Him any more. I missed the times where I just felt so confident in Him, I don't feel like that anymore. Negative emotions well up in me very easily nowadays. I used to give in to people, nowadays, I can't even take an insult. Where's there perseverance, where's that determination? Life seems so angsty to me.
I need to rekindle the lost flame. I need to do something about it. I know exactly where the problem lies, but I've just lost the discipline to it. I am both physically tired and mentally tired, yet, God's word is what I need. Prayer is just what I need. I know what to do, but my heart is weak and lazy, so much so I just compromise to what Satan wished I did. I need the discipline to pray and read the bible again. I have a lot of work to do to get back what I used to be. I will take this no longer.
I am determined to fend off Satan, no matter how hard it is. God, grant me the strength and discipline I need, I really miss you LORD...
昨夜, 我与我的朋友一同到维多利亚剧院去观赏华中一年一度的《黄城夜韵》。在我求学时，我是从来没有观赏过《黄》的戏剧。
观赏了这一部戏剧后，我感到十分欣慰。看到学弟学妹们的演出，不难了解他们所花费的心思与付出的精力，《黄》的确是他们呕心沥血之作。他们年轻有活力的演出，完全体现出少年的奔放与青春。看到他们，不禁让我想起两年前的我。我当时也与他们一样过着求学的生活，那种感觉是多么自由，多么的新鲜，每天我都沉浸在自我探索中。生活天天是种新体验。
《黄》的确是一向非常有意义的活动。它提供了学生一个能表现演技与语文掌握的平台。学生从中能对华文产生深一层的兴趣。我对华中发扬中华文化的努力感到非常骄傲。我真心的希望，《黄》的精神能发扬光大，为新加坡华文教育进一份力。
我为华中感到骄傲，但原华中也为我感到骄傲。 ：）