Am I happy or sad? I really don't know.
Can't seem to figure out how I feel nowadays. My feelings are just so numb. I used to have lots of aspirations and dreams. Somehow, my life in army made me chuck it all away behind my mind. I just get so tired. I get so tired to think about anything. Every time I enter my bunk, all I can think of is sleep. I used to visualize what I want to do and what I want to be 20 years down the road. Now, I seldom look beyond 24 hours. My life is just so busy but never fulfilling.
Admist all these emotions, I come to realise the reason behind all these. The things that I am doing now serve little or no benefits to me in realising my goals and aspirations. It is an important lesson for us here...
If you are busy with things that you don't like, life would be miserable for you. As in my case, I am doing things I have no interest in. No matter how much heart and soul I put into them, I just don't feel like I have acheived something useful out of it, simply because I ain't interested in it. This is sadly the case for many people around. They plunge into careers that they simply have no clue about. They take up a degree simply because it has prospects. At the end of the day, they lose interest in their job because they lack the passion for it. That is really painful. Imagine doing something you have zero interest in for 20 years of your life. That is really horrible.
I am only doing this for 1yr 10 mths and I am going crazy already. It is really a reminder to me. We should really try as much as possible, to go for things we are really passionate in our life. We cannot afford to trade our happiness for things we are not interested in. If someone tells you to become a doctor but deep inside you, you always wanted to be an artist, go for it. Because I know the feeling of not doing something you want. It is really horrible. With zero interest in it, how can you excel in the job you are doing?
All in all, I conclude, this is a very random post......