Been a long time since I last blogged. Much have been racing through my mind and my emotions are kind of jerky now. I have many mixed emotions.
The main reason for this mixed feeling is probably because of the fact that I will be receiving my A levels results in 2 days time. It will very much determine which is the general direction I will be heading for in the later part of my life. It is a milestone. It is a beginning and an end. It is a beginning to the new chapter of my life, more specifically the beginning of the path to tertiary education and most probably, the path of my career. It also marks the end of my schooling days. All these just seem to come and go so fast. One day I was busy with school activites and mugging and the next day, I am ready to reap the fruit of my efforts. Sometimes it is hard to believe that our life is really speeding us by.
This few days, my feelings are kind of weird. One moment, I am telling myself that everything will be alright and the next moment, I start to doubt in myself and begin to worry about Friday. Honestly speaking, I can't really tell how I feel.
As I was travelling back home from work on the MRT today, I started to ponder about the things that happen in my life. I started to look back at all the times I had. I could vividly picture the scene when I first got my PSLE results and how my parents helped me appealed into The Chinese High School. I must thank them for putting really so much effort in ensuring I got into the school I desire. I remebered how I stood by the phone to wait for the phone call that told me I had successfully entered the school of my choice. I prayed earnestly, or so I think, and I got what I asked for.
Then came the O levels. First the prelims. When I received my maths and science sudjects results then, I felt dejected. My L1R5 didn't look promising enough to get me into HCJC. I prayed earnestly, or so I think. Then came my history, I got an A1, something that I could never have expected. Suddenly, my L1R5 shot from 12 to 8. What a miracle. When the real thing finally came, the O levels, I got an L1R5 of 7. My results weren't fantastic compared to my classmates and my first 3 months JC classmates, but somehow, but God's grace, I got all the good grades for the required subjects. Though I didn't get straight A1s, I got L1R5 7. I had one classmate in JC in first 3 months, he got straights A1s for science and maths subjects, but the L1, his english got B3. He got L1R5 of 8 and was rejected. I couldn't understand why everything seem so coincidental for me but again, I got into my desired JC.
Oh, before I forget, I will have to flashback into my admission to my primary school. By right, it was difficult to get into Pei Chun Public School as I was holding a PR status and I have totally no connections what so ever to get into the school. My chances were really slim. But because my dad's colleague is a relative of the principle then and through his help, my sis got the chance to participate in the 'lucky draw' for vacancies. Even then, the chances were low as piority were still given to the Singaporeans and by the time for the draw to come near, not many vacancies were left. Somehow, God placed my sister into the school and following 2 years, due to the fact that my sis had a place in school and I had a sibling in Pei Chun, I got into this very good school rather easily. God's grace? I believe so...
As Friday approaches, I ask myself again, what will the future hold, after seeing all these things that happened to me. My education path is one that is so far smooth and good. I had an education that many people yearn for. But I have nothing to boast about. Because looking back, I realised that all these wouldn't have been possible without people like my parents and my sis and most importantly, God. I could see God's hand at work. What more can I ask for? I really want to thank God for everything that he planned, so smooth sailing for me so far. Once again, I want to put my trust in Him. God I offer you my burdens and my worries. Anoint me with trust and faith in You and that you hold the power to decide for me.
Brothers and sisters, what do you have to thank God for? :)