What do people see themselves being? What are their minds constantly thinking about? These questions have always evoked immense interest in me. Understanding the human thinking takes profound knowledge and experience.
Are we all really that unique? Do we always follow the wisdom of the crowd? What are the hidden agendas behind our face? Sometimes, these questions just keep cropping up my mind. I spent quite some time thinking of it too. Everytime I am alone, sitting on the bus, observing people, I come out with funny ideas to my ever seemingly redundant questions.
I realised, at the end of the day, the answer is staring right at me. It is in me, it is with me and it is me. Understanding thyself seems to be the best way to understand the people around you. That's in my opinion. I believe that human beings are all in this intricate system that we are unconcious of, that is our own society. We love to look at the society from OUR own point of view. We believe that the issues involved in a society is always about the others. The problems involves the others, not me. This is a case of ME vs SOCIETY. We constantly judge the society by being in our own shoes. How then can we be of an objective opinion when we ourselves are very much part of the society? Humans are interconnected, we long for company. Evidence are like holidays. How many of us feel bored at home all the while? I do. Many a times, we long for holidays to come in our busy school days, a time for us to get away from the noise and the people. But when the holidays do come, we long for school. Contradictory isn't it. That's why outings in holidays are always so fun because people get together to do things they like!
So what is my point? My point is basically that we humans have this unseen connection looming above us all the time. It seems difficult for a person to be drawn out of the society. Thus, we are part of the society and we make the society. Sometimes, I realise, when we pull our spirit and mind away from our own body, understanding why people do some things don't seem to become that difficult. Unknowingly, we ourselves are like doing the many things that society is doing. That is where trend comes in. Why do people like iPods so much? Why do people rush after new handphone models? Why do people want to get 4As and 2 S Papers distinctions so much(In my school that is)? Then, I try pulling my mind out of the picture. I imagine myself being the person I am observing on the bus. I look at myself, I look at my own image. I try to fanthom what my mind is thinking. Then I realise, deep down in my heart, many of these things are the very things that I long for too. I long to change handphones as and when I like. I long to buy all kinds of MP3 players. I long to be the top boy in my school. This are the many small desires that many of us choose to deny. Self denial leads to self misunderstanding.
Then, I go on to ask myself the questions of why I have such desires? Imagine interviewing yourself, that's how I view it!
"So Young! Why do want an iPod?" says the interviewer.
"Oh! Because it looks nice and people says it is nice and I think it is nice! Having it makes me feel like I am part of the crowd!"
"Why then do you want good academic results? Don't people always say results aren't the most important but it is the process that matters?"
"Nonsense! In this world, being unable to deliver what people want you to deliver is unacceptable. Not being the best means you are being deemed as being lousier. I want 4As so as to get into medicine and be a doctor! I want recognition..."
"But don't you always say you want to be a doctor only because you want to be a noble missionary doctor to serve the weak and bring them happiness?"
"That is the ideal. But lets admit it, deep down inside, we all have the same and the only desire, that is to be in power, to be in the limelight. We all want fame, glory and recognition. Living in self denial that one do not long for such things is a lie itself." says Young
"That's very bold of you!" says interviewer
"It isn't, I just don't want to live myself in self denial that I try to make things look noble and beautifully packaged for me. I want to understand my own weaknesses and strength. I believe admitting one is weak is a strength in iteslf..." says Young
And that was the interview I had with myself. You may find it funny yes but this are the things going through my mind! Now I THINK I understand what many people are thinking. Because I THINK I understood myself. We ourselves are very much the same as many other people. We do the same things many a times. Therefore, no one is in any position to judge. I understand myself and others better I guess...
So how do we rectify problems and inner desires we have then? Some people might say "Gosh! Not again!! Why can't Lim Young stop this!! He always does this like a fanatic in his blog!!" Haha, but nevertheless, I am going to share it!! That is my religion!! For me, that is how I see. We humans are never able to rectify our own desires. We ourselves have this innate nature with us. I believe only a Higher Power can do that ( No GP batteries though -_-''' haha). Seriously! Don't leave this blog as yet!! Haha! Come to think of it, maybe we don't really understand ourselves that much, do we? The clarity only comes from a 3rd person's view maybe? Each day I long in God's presence and power to suppress these sinful desires. The very things that makes me a lousy person. I believe no one understands me better than my Lord Father, not even myself. Self improvement first comes with escaping self denial. Then it comes to self analysis, and then it comes to self rectification, which in my case, is handing over my worries to our Creator and Father.
All in all, if I sound disorientated, do forgive me! Cause that is what I always do when I blog. Tend to diverge alot. However, I hope to share with people what my thoughts are, though I don't blog often, I do hope my blog has qualities, not some kind of blog that goes around ranting what I do and who I hate and where in the world I go for trainings and have fun. I mean who really cares?